The final full stop!

Life is a work in progress. Where it ends, death starts. And, only death is permanent. You step towards death inch by inch, every day; prepare for it all the time; make several lists while living; trying to strike off most of the items in them, if not all. Every day you are a step closer. Some days are awfully painful that you want the excruciating pain to end, you turn philosophical and even invite the death. Other days are fun and on those days, you don't think about the eventuality. 

Life goes on. Till the time it doesn't. In a split second, you see the deadline. (As an aside, now I understand the meaning of deadline!) And, once you are about to approach it, you are clueless. You always want more time. You want to delay it as much as you can, fix the incomplete tasks. You realize that the items are never struck off completely. Where did all the time go when you had planned it so much better?

Death is the final goal. Much like a software product release. You use all the tools for planning and executing, work very hard, hasten each day, fight against timeline and think you are prepared. In all honesty, you truly want to achieve the target you had set out for yourself.

Boy, you are so wrong. When the release date approaches, your code is never perfect. The clients, investors, stakeholders want you to deliver but as much as you wish to achieve your goal, the little voice in your head knows that you are not ready. Only if you could push the release date! But once the product is released, it sets you free. Sadly, only you are at peace.

The idea, my friend, is to die young as late as possible.

One keeps wondering if there a life after death. I am sure there is. You certainly can't lose all the wisdom you have acquired in your life, just because you are dead. That would be a huge loss. 

But, if there isn't, shouldn't you be given a chance to do a complete knowledge transfer (KT) to someone? Someone who can take it forward from there, you know. Someone who can optimize your code, your life, your purposes. 

Bittersweet!

I share a very strange love-hate relationship with him.  He loves me and  I hate him. But I know he will always have my back or my front even if I don't need him. That  irritates me to no end.

And, there is no way in hell can I tell him to stop being there in my life. He is stubborn, but more importantly, I think he is demented too. He drives me up the wall with his over-the-top gestures. He is never subtle, never was.  

Hard as I may try, I can't recollect the exact date when I had met him first. Our first encounter, you know! May be it was never. It now seems that he was always present in my life. And now I can't get rid of him. 

I won't deny that I have not cursed him on more occasions than one. Even if he won't retaliate, I would still hurl choicest form of my abuses to him. I am not sure if he senses it or not (though he really boasts of having super awesome senses), but like a perfect gentleman, he never ever gives it back to me. 

But, truth be told. If I don't see him often, I am a little concerned about him. Perhaps, I miss his inexpressive eyes too. But, then again when was he known to express himself! Was he not like this ever since I have known him? 

The sad part is even today if I am lying alone in my bed, there have been so many lonely nights when I hear his voice, perhaps, in my head. God knows I absolutely detest that sound. 

Looking back, I realize that we never really got a chance to converse; primarily because we don't know how to. We don't understand each other. I have never taken the pains to hear his part of the story before judging him for life. As for him, I don't even know if he can listen. 

May be we are not meant to be together, we shall try to be friends with each other in some other era, in some other avatar. 

I have absolutely no shame in saying that I don't want you in my life. You are ugly and I have given up on you; especially today when I saw peeing you on the road, you dirty brown Wadala's dog! Please leave my neighborhood so that I can sleep in peace. 

Your puppy eyes can take you to only so much, mister! 

The "XX" factor

What happens when one of your closest friends turns xx? It is right in your face; your bubble is broken, you are scared and you know it would happen to you too. In less than a year!

I have known this bubble burst-er cum birthday girl for a real long time now which looks like a lifetime already. I have seen her through thick and thin; thick as in her and thin as in me (!) 

We have been in different colleges, cities, countries, time zones..you name it! But, somehow we have managed to meet at the edges of these boundaries. Every single time!

In these 12 years that I have known her, she has played numerous roles in my life. One minute she would be my mother and teach me certain things that my mother can’t even dream of, the other instant she would become my worst critic, my metaphorical mum-in-law!

But, she would always have my back. And, I, well, I would never leave her back. Together we have evolved from being 18 years old college kids to rocking (!) professionals who still can’t stop giggling over random jokes on goats and ants.

She is a wrestler who has arm twisted me on more occasions than one; she is highly overwhelming who sits on my head to do things her way. She cracks stupid jokes and fights like a moron.

But, she also cries while watching vague movies and her heart melts over every perceivable problem on this earth. She likes a lot of people and loves a vast majority of them. She does manage to sparkle your heart with her smile.

She is sunshine one second and a big, cloudy storm the other.

You are many things, Anu. And, now one of them is a xx years old lady! Keep going as you have always done! Or, may be keep dragging. That’s what xx years old do anyway, right?

But, don’t worry. I shall meet you at the other side of the fence, really quick; like I have always done!

I don’t know what I wish for you on your xx^th, I know you will achieve anything you set your eyes on but I do wish for every 18 year old to find her Anu.

P.S. Find xx ;) 

Bundle of endless joy

As cheesy as it sounds, I call my 2 months old nephew “Junu”. Etymologically speaking, it is a cutely distorted form of “Jaanu”. And, jaanu he is! Not only for me but also for my entire extended tasteless family.  We address him with so many names (Kaanha, Chochu, Choti bitiya, Atta boy, Naanu, Kaaku) that perhaps only a Punjabi family is capable of; the meanings of all of which converge to a lovely, delightful tiny human!

Like an obsessive and super proud family unit, we monitor and discuss incessantly each and every activities of him. The highlights of our days are his rolling by 60 degrees all by himself or the way he stretches his feather-like body! Everyone keeps a count on the number of his daily burps, yawns or the little inaudible noises he makes.

We ask him random questions through the day and believe that our little genius has the answers to all of them. But, invariably he does answer our questions – his ear to ear smile is a yes and his disinterested look is a no. Judge us all you want to, but he is pretty consistent with his replies. Every single time! 

That’s my champ - a fast thinker, an intelligent analyst and an honest man.

Ever since he is born, he has enlightened me in more ways than one. I have started looking up to his parents; whom earlier I never thought worthy of much; primarily because they are his creators. And also they have done something which I couldn't do till now; not that I am trying any bit (!).

The way his cute little tushy endures the pains of vaccination injections (damn you, doctors) teaches me resilience; the way he expects milk from his mother’s breasts every single time he is hungry teaches me optimism; the way he clutches my fingers as soon as I touch his hands makes me appreciate the power of expressing true love and the way he makes nasty faces when I do certain things on his belly teaches me to how to convey discomfort without having to think twice.

He is so many things wired together in such a small frame.  A child is indeed the father of man.

I clearly remember that the first time I looked at his innocent face, touched his tender body; I knew there could be nothing as divine as him. Only later did I realize that he had indeed wetted my pants with his urine; but instead of being cranky, I accepted it and thought there was still some angelic quality (pH?) attached to it. I think that’s what ‘maasi-hood’ does to you.

It may sound funny but I think he completes me. Right now I am insanely, over the moon happy that he has happened to me.

He is so delicious. Next time I am home, I plan to eat him up.

I am a self proclaimed gadget freak. When I see a gadget, I have to definitely buy it. If I don’t, my whole body starts itching, I become sad and morose; and I lose the willingness to live and let others live. And, I almost always see one.With a bird’s eye view. 

Even at the time of writing this post, my handbag has 5 different gadgets and, mind you, all of them have a mutually exclusive purpose. Atleast, in my head.

For instance, if I have to text someone, I refuse to use any other applications but blackberry messenger. God forbid, if the other person doesn't have a blackberry; he/she will be belittled, laughed upon, abused and smacked by me. Indefinitely. Almost, to the point where he/she stops talking to me or ends up actually buying a blackberry! Mission accomplished.

Meanwhile, I remain super impressed with its qwerty keypad (I was heartbroken when they introduced touchscreens on their cellphones!), its sturdy & heavy body and its awesome feature of sending read receipts. Long live, RIM! Do not let others innovate you in any which way. You are best the way you are! In the texting silo that is.

I am also an avid reader and I have an insatiable appetite for books, other people’s writings, blogs,  opinions yada yada. And, I judge people who do all this on a computer or, for that matter, on a single device. Well, hello? There is a specialized piece of equipment for each of these things.

A book can be best read on a fantabulous e-book reader - like a shiny pink colored kindle and the other media content can only be consumed on touch sensitive devices like a Galaxy Note. You cannot and should not combine the two of them. It is criminal. It is equivalent to committing a digital sin!

And, what if you have to play a game or watch a Ted video? No points for guessing here. You most definitely need a bigger screen for it. iPad serves the purpose just fine. As an aside, I am still thinking of the utilities of iPad Mini. I am sure there would be numerous; I just have to dig further.

 But, if you want to listen to music, by no means can an iPad replace the beauty and sleekness of an iPod. The purists at Apple can claim anything but I find the audio quality of latter far better than the former. Besides, who doesn’t need a circular scroll-er to change the songs’ sequences? Shaking the device for that is so old school and pretty, tiring. Isn’t it?

I can go on and on as how I bought a USB based fan cooled -patent protected- ultra superior - computer table, a super elegant, oh-so-modern toolkit, and Chinese make dual SIM card supported TV cum mobile phone. And, how each one of these buys made me extremely happy (sometimes, the happiness didn’t last very long!); and how none of them was an impulse buy. Ever. But, guess you get the idea.

In my hearts of heart I know that every single time I bought something, it was only because my life had that gadget shaped void; the realization of which happened with the launch of those widgets!

Life as it happens!

4 strangers who touch my life everyday:

1) My auto-wallah – He is invariably the first person to call me up each morning.  He comes all the way from Mulund to Andheri and patiently waits outside my building every single day. While dropping me to my office, he entertains me with his stories which vary from his sex encounters (only with his wife!) to the mass destruction happening in Tanzania! His perspective is very different from mine and I feel enlightened when he speaks to me.

If you are reading it somehow, I am really glad you happened to me, Mr. Choubey! Couldn't have asked for a better chauffeur.

2) My cook – She is the one who wakes me up every morning. And, boy can she cook! She is definitely the second best cook in this world, obviously after my mother. Her specialty is to cook awesome food without many ingredients.

Even if we don’t have Aata at home, she still manages to cook delectable lunch. I think she steals raw materials from my neighbor’s house; nevertheless, it works for us.

I really owe my not-so-flat-stomach and delightful mood through the day to you, Deepa didi.

If gluttony is a sin, you have really made me a sinner. And, I am glad being one.

  

3) My Galaxy Note – Oh my note, I don’t think there was any better magnificent piece of architecture other than you! You beat Taj Mahal with your beauty, if I may say so.

You are really a source of endless information for me. You make me aware of the politics, sports, scandals, technology, videos..and the list goes on and on.

And, in the night when I am alone and I have this real strong urge to go incognito, my pal, you are still there for me.

You are really smart, amazingly intelligent and very touchy! With you in my bag, I swear I would never ever pay Apple tax in my life again.

4) Charlie Harper - Previously, there had been Joeys and Barneys in the entertainment world. And then came this super rocking dude called Charlie Harper.

 The real Charlie Sheen could be the epicenter of endless controversies, but Charlie Harper is so affable! He is very charming, extremely funny and oh-so-attractive.  

All you guys out there, even if you get just one percent of his wit and charm, I promise I would really marry you all (oops!).

I am indebted to Star World for arranging my date with him every night, before I go to sleep.

Sometimes, I wonder:

1. Who thought of the reply to “What’s up?” as “Nothing much” and then circulated it to every living soul of this country? How and when it became the standard reply?
2. Why were all the mushy feelings attributed to heart and not to, for instance, kidney or liver?
3. Who thought of rainy season as romantic; why was it universally accepted by all the poets? Had these poets never visited Bombay in monsoon season?
4. Why were Saturday and Sunday chosen as the weekly holidays? Wouldn’t it be more convenient if the weekly holidays were Wednesday and Sunday?
5. How did everyone in our country realize the importance of change money (chutte paise) that they never want to let them go? Was it taught by Gandhi as one of his talismans?
6. How did the generation of our parents and grandparents manage to look busy without computers in their offices? Did they keep refreshing the pages of the files kept on their desks?
7. Why ain’t all the days of a week of same duration? It would have been great if 24 hours of Monday were equal to 24 hours of Saturday.
8. Why is our to-do list not like drivers’? They never have any pending tasks for tomorrow.
9. How did we use to kill 15 seconds in an elevator in pre-cell phone days?
10. Why is it so important to end everything in multiples of 5 or 10? A lot of my grey cells would have been saved if I just ended this post with the first 9 points only!

Dedicated to someone who knows how to dream!

Often, we have fervently discussed about the corporate whores that we all are. There have been innumerable occasions when we all cribbed about our long work hours, bitched about our bosses, loathed our lives, cursed the Indian economy, hated our offices’ locations, abused anyone who used to enjoy his work..Heck, anything and everything related to our jobs.

At other times, in not so low spirits, we fantasized about leaving our fucking jobs; the mere thought of becoming the masters of our lives gave us our best orgasms ever! In our free times, we all have read about the journeys of several entrepreneurs, and instantly they became the Jim Morrisons of our lives. We subscribed to various entrepreneurial journals and magazines on our oh-so-cool cell phones and tablets (As an aside - we were able to afford them only because of our jobs!). We kept discussing about our virtual ventures and our innovative ideas with all our friends at every possible occasions. We had the logos and the names of our potential companies etched in our heads. Forget the reality; we were taking micro-steps towards realizing our dreams!

If not anything else, these ideas used to make interesting dinner table conversations. We used to get a few nods, encouraging smiles and some respite from our otherwise dull life. Only problem was we never had any timelines in mind to implement our ideas. And, deep down may be we didn't even have the courage to forgo the luxuries (read money) our jobs offered.

But, you, my friend, are different. Oh boy, you took that plunge and how! It is almost like losing your virginity to an extraordinarily beautiful, angelic, ever so charming, surreal vampire. Her touch is divine, love making with her is par excellence and you know you would just get one chance to do it. But, while you are at it, you may not know how risky it could be!

All I would say is, Go bro go, get laid! May you get the best sex of your life!

Bye-o-phobia!

There are just 2 types of people- one who know how to gracefully end a phone call conversation and the one who don’t.  There is no overlap between the two, just an awful lot of failed attempts by the latter to come in the former group. But, for all practical purposes, the barrier separating the 2 categories is insurmountable.

I am writing this out of my personal experiences. To begin with, I am not a phone person. Though I am a proud owner of a Blackberry and a Galaxy Note (!) but I don’t use them to make calls. I so don’t.

On a typical day, my phone logs would show you that I hardly call up anyone.  However, if people call me up and if I choose to talk to them, I can’t put the phone down primarily because I don’t know how to. They think that I enjoy talking to them (which sort of works for me!) but I swear I don’t know how to end up the conversation.

As geeky as it sounds, I prefer the digital world where typing a “brb” is so less intimidating. It just conveys so much in so few letters..it is almost surreal! May be, that’s the reason it is called a virtual world. In real world, it is not so simple.

In my head, I have practiced so many times to say “Bye, I will call you back”, “Bye, Nice talking to you” etc. etc. but in reality, my tongue fails me every single time.  Now, don’t get me wrong! I am not a timid little girl who can’t put her thoughts across. I am actually the opposite of that. I truly consider myself very straightforward.  Having said that, I am highly ill at ease at ending up the phone conversation. For some weird reasons, I find it too abrupt, too barbaric, and too rude to say bye on phone.

Even if my cell battery is conking off, I am actually in a tunnel or someone else is continuously calling me up on the other line, I still won’t hang up. I would wait perpetually for the other person to end the call. And, then I am amazed at how easily they do that. It really doesn’t take them more than a second to say bye! It is indeed simple and only right.

While I can’t find the reason behind this bye-o-phobia of mine, I am learning to include this word in my phone conversation.  For instance, I have started telling people (a lot reluctantly and in an apologetic tone though) that I would hang up as I have to pee.

So, at the risk of defaming my bladder, I am doing my bit!

Bowel Movements!

Of all the movements, the single most critically touching (quite literally!) and (b)utterly important to mankind is that of the bowels. If it is too fast, it results in loose “stuff”; if it is too slow, the result is opposite – both ‘poop-ingly’ taxing. It has to be just right, every day, every time.

While Indian gurus have emphasized a  lot on the importance of this shitty (again literally) topic, but an average Indian still thinks his crap is a-product-of-Uranus and is not very comfortable talking about it. Either we joke about it or we find it gross, but we don’t talk about it as a matter of fact.  Personally, I belong to the former category. Even after so many years into liberalization, we still don’t own up the farts which we release!

Believe it or not, 2 gastroenterology fellows in Yale have published a book on “What’s Your Poo Telling You?” The book comes with a serious message about the importance of preventing colon cancer, the second deadliest cancer in the United States; but that is beyond the scope of this blog entry.

I have chosen to write on this topic because I have just recovered from 2 diarrhea attacks followed by something which my doctor suspects could be piles!! I have gone through the whole cycle of denial to weakness to pain and finally, acceptance.

Every day’s morning activity has become an ordeal, the rightly named “Hell’s candy” refuses to come out of my body without giving me ample pain. I just have to endure and endure I will, but not silently. Apart from taking regular medicines, applying ointments (during office hours) at you know which places and drinking lots of fluids, I have devised some ways of bargaining with it:

• I have stopped making any jokes on it whatsoever.
• I have stopped calling it by its Hindi name.
• I have started keeping my bathroom spic and span, which may entice it to come faster!
• I have taken it out once (albeit in a small wrapped box) so that it could see the outer world.

I am doing my bit so that it becomes all healthy again, enabling me to flush it every morning without grimace!

Slant Rhyme!

Creativity is fine, time is mine
But they say you won't shine

Work is there, balance is where
And they tell its just a layer

Life is good, things are many
But they say save some penny

Friends are gay, black is grey
And they tell not THE way

Smiles flow, relationship mends
But they say wait till this ends

Love galore, rock and roll
I say lets fuck it all!
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One of those ironies of India

Only in India where 
multi-millionaires siphon off moolah from poor but a building guard lends you his money to pay your rickshaw bill


Only in India where 
you can kill and roam freely but keeping more than 2 litres of liquor at your home can get you jailed

Only in India where
a Cornell educated, 28 years old has never cast vote but her illiterate maid has never missed one

Only in India where 
infidelity is evil but Lord Krishna is being worshipped

Only in India where 
talking about gay rights is a crime but its father of nation is a bi

Only in India where 
condoms are unheard of but homosexuality can be treated by drinking water

Only in India where 
majority can't buy a handful of food-grains but everyone knows about the tariff schemes of Tata Docomo


Only in India where 
life does not have a rhythm but everyone sings and dances to the tunes in their heads!

10 things I wish I knew when I was 18!

1. Peace, respect and dignity are not directly proportional to great education. The equation is reverse.  Great education won’t take me to places; rather it would just make me stronger to take piss from my boss.
2. There is no such thing as I-won’t-get-fat; wrong (eating) habits would certainly make me fat one day.
3. I won’t invent any cool gadget in my career; I would just be content using other great men’s discoveries.
4. I will never own a private jet. I would just fly economy class all my life and be happy about it.
5. Spending money would be as tough as earning it.
6. People do care a shit about how one carries oneself. They most definitely judge others.
7. I would never be able to see all the exotic places in the world. Heck, seeing all the places in India is a remote possibility.
8. There are several things which are impossible. Quitting one’s job tops that list.
9. Patience is really a virtue, and I won’t acquire it just like that (read when I turn 25). 
10. The concept of arranged marriages would not become obsolete for our generation.  It is here to stay for innumerable years!

Growing Old is Mandatory; Growing Up is Optional...!

You know you are growing old when you start using a cork opener to open a tender cocunut.

You know you are growing old when reaching home early amounts to finishing off your laundry!

You know you are growing old when you start checking your official mails first thing on a Sunday morning.

You know you are growing old when you start adding friends' birthday reminders in your outlook calendar.

You know you are growing old when your mood spoils terribly if the maid is on leave.

You know you are growing old when you plan the number of drinks you would have before going to a party.

You know you are growing old when your white/grey tresses don't bother you. Rather, you show it to your friends.

You know you are growing old when your back hurts if you sleep on a couch.

You know you are growing old when the balance in your Savings Account is never too low.

You know you are growing old when your wallet has a loyalty card of Big Bazaar and Reliance Fresh!

You know you are growing old when you charge your cellphones every night without fail.

You know you are growing old when you start planning your day while crapping in the morning.

You know you are growing old when you can't make it to the Ice Lounge even if you bought the coupons a month back.

You know you are growing old when your imminent 28th birthday reminds you of the 'Big 3 O'!

Well, I wonder if I am growing old or growing up?!

Get ready!

Since I was a small girl, my parents used to tell me every single morning to get “ready”; now all my relatives and friends are saying the same. The only difference is they meant getting ready for going to the school, others mean getting ready for marriage. My marriage..and that too an arranged one!! Things could not be scarier.

But, apparently I have not changed a bit in all these days. I still hate this saddest word in the English language as much as I used to hate it 20 years back. No, I am not ready for anything in life; least of all marriage! How can I possibly be ready for something which is so new, so different and so unpredictable?

I am a person of habits and the slightest amount of change disturbs me.  The change from being Miss to being Mrs., the change from being called didi to being called bhabhi, the change from being free to being married is surely gonna be one hell of a change. How can they expect me to be ready for it? What’s with the world?

I am not saying that I don’t believe in the institution of marriage. I do but till now it was someone else’s institution.  I had heard about it, read about it, witnessed it but I was never ready for it. I was a mere spectator.  Now, I am at the center stage.

I have this fear that very soon life will change forever. And change it will! Will that change be good? Well, I don’t know.

But, I have a plan of action. I would do everything I ever wanted to do in life.  I would go for a road trip covering the length and breadth of the country; I would spend one whole night at a beach; I would run the full marathon (on second thoughts, maybe a half marathon..heck, whatever); I would eat junk food one full night without feeling guilty; I would learn bartending, I would get a portrait done of myself..and possibly go to Vegas!

So, at some level am I getting ready? Well, yeah, maybe unknowingly I am.

Source : Zindagi na milegi doobara..

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya 
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya 
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya 
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya 
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya 
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai 
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai  


Yeh jo gehre sannaate hain 
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain 
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa 
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa 
Aankh teri bekaar hi namm hai 
Har pal ek naya mausam hai 
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai 
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai 

"The" blackberry craze!

Supposedly, the basic function of a phone is to make and receive calls.  And, that is exactly what I don’t do with my blackberry (read ‘little devil’). I hate to receive calls. But the moment the tiny little thing on my cell blinks (for all technical discussion, I would call it as panic button), I have to compulsively see why it is blinking. If there is a disease called as blackberry mania, I think I am its worst sufferer. 

It all started very gradually. I still remember the day my dad bought me the little devil. I was in absolute love with it, but did not even bother to get the much talked about blackberry services activated on it.  As I am not too fond of receiving calls, the little devil pretty much used to work under my command. I used to pick it up only when I had to make calls. Life was good! I used to sleep peacefully. Aah, the little pleasures of life!

 And then came the fateful day! I was cajoled to get the blackberry services activated on the devil. I succumbed to the peer pressure and bam, one fine day I got them activated. I configured my personal and official mail on it, downloaded Google talk and started adding friends on the “BBM”. Little did I know then that my life was about to change for good. It was almost like a love affair. I was practically hooked to the devil almost through the day and started spending my nights with it. But, I was sure that my infatuation would end in a couple of months.  The lust does not last longer than that, isn’t it? I did not know I was so wrong.

As days passed by, I was all the more attracted to it. I started carrying it everywhere I used to go. My morning regime of reading newspaper in the loo went for a toss.  Knowing fully well that my little devil cannot withstand water, still I could not resist the temptation of carrying it to the bathroom.  My devil started accompanying me to office’s meetings, friends’ places, pubs..every place I can possibly think of.  And, it did not end there. I developed the obsession of replying back to every ping, mail and pin! I was extremely well connected with all my acquaintances and my real friends started drifting apart. But, I could not care less. I had my angel (oops devil) with me. I could not keep my hands and eyes off my devil. I was so glued to it. I stopped wearing those trousers which did not have pockets. I was so possessive of it; I did not want any distance between us. By now, I was completely sure that I could not think of a life without it. I was still very happy.

But of late, this devil has started bossing me around. Now, I am extremely captivated by it. My fingers hurt but I can’t stop typing. I have to look at the panic button after every 2 minutes to see if my devil is calling me.  Even if my boss is sitting right across the table, I can’t stop myself from taking orders from my real master.  Almost every night, I get up from my peaceful sleep just for a glimpse of my devil.

Now that the things are completely out of my control, I have started practicing celibacy. I keep the devil away from my sight and make promises with my soul that I won’t touch it for next 15 minutes. But, I fail miserably.  It rules my brain, eyes, hands and soul.

For the love of the Lord, someone please treat my mania!

Work Laugh

Scientists have discovered a new form of laughter. They claim whether we agree or not, we all (salaried people) seem to have something called as “Work Laugh”! It is loud, abrupt, achy and strictly displayed at one’s work place. More often than not, the person making this noise does it involuntarily. It is definitely not the best medicine but it is a remedy…remedy to boss’s silly jokes.

Some of the attributes of this strange noise are:

1. Its occurrence and intensity are directly proportional to the hierarchy in an organization. The higher the position of the person cracking a lame joke, the frequent and louder it becomes.
2. This sound is never made on a lighter note. It is strenuous both physically and mentally, to say the least. For better impact, some people also believe in shaking their whole bodies while making this creepy sound.
3. It has been observed that it is never continuous. Rather, it is intermittent.
4. On a positive side, it can be viewed as a form of exercise. Hence, if one makes this noise for 10 minutes every day, one can successfully burn a lot of calories; the exact amount is still unknown.

My take on the same? Oh, I don't know. I am a hard core technologist, I prefer using the word "Lol". And, for displaying more intensity, I get away by increasing the number of O's in Lol.

.....

A lot has already been said and written about her.

Her beauty is all encompassing. She is a little dirty but we can let it pass.

She is amazingly kind towards poor. But, she herself is very rich. People may call her a brat.

She has loved, accepted and shown her motherly affection towards many. But at times, she has been brutally hurt by many.

She deals with a lot of problems everyday but with a smile on her face. She never complains.

She loves rains. But she is warm from inside.

She has many friends from all strata of society; yet she craves for more attention.

She is very powerful. But she believes in ahimsa.

Sometimes, she likes to be pretentious. But she is true to her roots.

She is very high maintenance, but she is not picky.

She has a lot of dazzling colors on her body. Yet she is humble.

She feeds you if you are hungry but makes you work hard..real hard.

She can be cruel but she chooses to be sympathetic towards one and all.

She is wise like an old lady but is as gullible as a kid! People misuse her because of her innocence, but she forgives and forgets. Taking revenge is not what she endorses.

She has loved me, embraced me but has never asked for anything in return.

She is secular in the truest sense of the word. But anyone who sees her claims his rights over her.

She makes you fall in love with her over and over. 

She is my city, the city of Bombay (oops Mumbai!)

Kudos to the rickshaw wallas of Bombay!

Well, I have been staying in Bombay for over two years now. Every single morning, I plead and fight with the ubiquitous, larger than (my) life, Bombay’s demigods – its rickshaw wallas. Knowingly or unknowingly, they have taught me some of the quintessential truths of life! So, this one is for you, bhaiya!

Here are some key things which I have learnt from my experiences with you:

1. Money can’t buy me everything - Even if I am ready to pay you double or thrice of what your meter reads, you still refuse to drop me from Jogeshwari to Andheri! While money makes most of us do evil things, you certainly are satisfied with your share. Bravo!
2. Going that extra mile may help – A couple of times when I have walked past your other waiting customers, taking that extra mile (in the most literal sense) has helped me in attracting your attention towards me. You have considered me over others.  
3. Situations are bad, human beings aren’t – When I get late for the office and you don’t even look at me, I have to admit that at that very moment, I hate you from the core of my heart. But, once I get inside your rick and you tell me about the pathetic situation of traffic, I do realize that the traffic situation makes you a villain. You are inherently not bad.
4. Good things will happen if I won’t give up – You reaffirm my age old belief in the virtue of hard work.  More often than not, if I keep looking for you and your peers in all possible directions on the road, I end up finding one of you. So, I will remember not to give up ever in life.

Finally, after brooding/yelling/fighting, the moment I hop inside a rickshaw I forget all the hardships. I also don’t think about the next day’s ordeal of finding one. I become happy and relaxed. I bask in the glory of finding you, under your roof. So, you teach me the most important lesson of  life – to live in the moment.

Thank you for being so kind and ever so humble!