Bittersweet!

I share a very strange love-hate relationship with him.  He loves me and  I hate him. But I know he will always have my back or my front even if I don't need him. That  irritates me to no end.

And, there is no way in hell can I tell him to stop being there in my life. He is stubborn, but more importantly, I think he is demented too. He drives me up the wall with his over-the-top gestures. He is never subtle, never was.  

Hard as I may try, I can't recollect the exact date when I had met him first. Our first encounter, you know! May be it was never. It now seems that he was always present in my life. And now I can't get rid of him. 

I won't deny that I have not cursed him on more occasions than one. Even if he won't retaliate, I would still hurl choicest form of my abuses to him. I am not sure if he senses it or not (though he really boasts of having super awesome senses), but like a perfect gentleman, he never ever gives it back to me. 

But, truth be told. If I don't see him often, I am a little concerned about him. Perhaps, I miss his inexpressive eyes too. But, then again when was he known to express himself! Was he not like this ever since I have known him? 

The sad part is even today if I am lying alone in my bed, there have been so many lonely nights when I hear his voice, perhaps, in my head. God knows I absolutely detest that sound. 

Looking back, I realize that we never really got a chance to converse; primarily because we don't know how to. We don't understand each other. I have never taken the pains to hear his part of the story before judging him for life. As for him, I don't even know if he can listen. 

May be we are not meant to be together, we shall try to be friends with each other in some other era, in some other avatar. 

I have absolutely no shame in saying that I don't want you in my life. You are ugly and I have given up on you; especially today when I saw peeing you on the road, you dirty brown Wadala's dog! Please leave my neighborhood so that I can sleep in peace. 

Your puppy eyes can take you to only so much, mister! 

The "XX" factor

What happens when one of your closest friends turns xx? It is right in your face; your bubble is broken, you are scared and you know it would happen to you too. In less than a year!

I have known this bubble burst-er cum birthday girl for a real long time now which looks like a lifetime already. I have seen her through thick and thin; thick as in her and thin as in me (!) 

We have been in different colleges, cities, countries, time zones..you name it! But, somehow we have managed to meet at the edges of these boundaries. Every single time!

In these 12 years that I have known her, she has played numerous roles in my life. One minute she would be my mother and teach me certain things that my mother can’t even dream of, the other instant she would become my worst critic, my metaphorical mum-in-law!

But, she would always have my back. And, I, well, I would never leave her back. Together we have evolved from being 18 years old college kids to rocking (!) professionals who still can’t stop giggling over random jokes on goats and ants.

She is a wrestler who has arm twisted me on more occasions than one; she is highly overwhelming who sits on my head to do things her way. She cracks stupid jokes and fights like a moron.

But, she also cries while watching vague movies and her heart melts over every perceivable problem on this earth. She likes a lot of people and loves a vast majority of them. She does manage to sparkle your heart with her smile.

She is sunshine one second and a big, cloudy storm the other.

You are many things, Anu. And, now one of them is a xx years old lady! Keep going as you have always done! Or, may be keep dragging. That’s what xx years old do anyway, right?

But, don’t worry. I shall meet you at the other side of the fence, really quick; like I have always done!

I don’t know what I wish for you on your xx^th, I know you will achieve anything you set your eyes on but I do wish for every 18 year old to find her Anu.

P.S. Find xx ;) 

Bundle of endless joy

As cheesy as it sounds, I call my 2 months old nephew “Junu”. Etymologically speaking, it is a cutely distorted form of “Jaanu”. And, jaanu he is! Not only for me but also for my entire extended tasteless family.  We address him with so many names (Kaanha, Chochu, Choti bitiya, Atta boy, Naanu, Kaaku) that perhaps only a Punjabi family is capable of; the meanings of all of which converge to a lovely, delightful tiny human!

Like an obsessive and super proud family unit, we monitor and discuss incessantly each and every activities of him. The highlights of our days are his rolling by 60 degrees all by himself or the way he stretches his feather-like body! Everyone keeps a count on the number of his daily burps, yawns or the little inaudible noises he makes.

We ask him random questions through the day and believe that our little genius has the answers to all of them. But, invariably he does answer our questions – his ear to ear smile is a yes and his disinterested look is a no. Judge us all you want to, but he is pretty consistent with his replies. Every single time! 

That’s my champ - a fast thinker, an intelligent analyst and an honest man.

Ever since he is born, he has enlightened me in more ways than one. I have started looking up to his parents; whom earlier I never thought worthy of much; primarily because they are his creators. And also they have done something which I couldn't do till now; not that I am trying any bit (!).

The way his cute little tushy endures the pains of vaccination injections (damn you, doctors) teaches me resilience; the way he expects milk from his mother’s breasts every single time he is hungry teaches me optimism; the way he clutches my fingers as soon as I touch his hands makes me appreciate the power of expressing true love and the way he makes nasty faces when I do certain things on his belly teaches me to how to convey discomfort without having to think twice.

He is so many things wired together in such a small frame.  A child is indeed the father of man.

I clearly remember that the first time I looked at his innocent face, touched his tender body; I knew there could be nothing as divine as him. Only later did I realize that he had indeed wetted my pants with his urine; but instead of being cranky, I accepted it and thought there was still some angelic quality (pH?) attached to it. I think that’s what ‘maasi-hood’ does to you.

It may sound funny but I think he completes me. Right now I am insanely, over the moon happy that he has happened to me.

He is so delicious. Next time I am home, I plan to eat him up.

I am a self proclaimed gadget freak. When I see a gadget, I have to definitely buy it. If I don’t, my whole body starts itching, I become sad and morose; and I lose the willingness to live and let others live. And, I almost always see one.With a bird’s eye view. 

Even at the time of writing this post, my handbag has 5 different gadgets and, mind you, all of them have a mutually exclusive purpose. Atleast, in my head.

For instance, if I have to text someone, I refuse to use any other applications but blackberry messenger. God forbid, if the other person doesn't have a blackberry; he/she will be belittled, laughed upon, abused and smacked by me. Indefinitely. Almost, to the point where he/she stops talking to me or ends up actually buying a blackberry! Mission accomplished.

Meanwhile, I remain super impressed with its qwerty keypad (I was heartbroken when they introduced touchscreens on their cellphones!), its sturdy & heavy body and its awesome feature of sending read receipts. Long live, RIM! Do not let others innovate you in any which way. You are best the way you are! In the texting silo that is.

I am also an avid reader and I have an insatiable appetite for books, other people’s writings, blogs,  opinions yada yada. And, I judge people who do all this on a computer or, for that matter, on a single device. Well, hello? There is a specialized piece of equipment for each of these things.

A book can be best read on a fantabulous e-book reader - like a shiny pink colored kindle and the other media content can only be consumed on touch sensitive devices like a Galaxy Note. You cannot and should not combine the two of them. It is criminal. It is equivalent to committing a digital sin!

And, what if you have to play a game or watch a Ted video? No points for guessing here. You most definitely need a bigger screen for it. iPad serves the purpose just fine. As an aside, I am still thinking of the utilities of iPad Mini. I am sure there would be numerous; I just have to dig further.

 But, if you want to listen to music, by no means can an iPad replace the beauty and sleekness of an iPod. The purists at Apple can claim anything but I find the audio quality of latter far better than the former. Besides, who doesn’t need a circular scroll-er to change the songs’ sequences? Shaking the device for that is so old school and pretty, tiring. Isn’t it?

I can go on and on as how I bought a USB based fan cooled -patent protected- ultra superior - computer table, a super elegant, oh-so-modern toolkit, and Chinese make dual SIM card supported TV cum mobile phone. And, how each one of these buys made me extremely happy (sometimes, the happiness didn’t last very long!); and how none of them was an impulse buy. Ever. But, guess you get the idea.

In my hearts of heart I know that every single time I bought something, it was only because my life had that gadget shaped void; the realization of which happened with the launch of those widgets!